


Five Years

by FrostyFingers



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-12 00:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2089071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostyFingers/pseuds/FrostyFingers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years on the run. On the run with him; with him and Dembe, of course. set after Berlin [Lizzington]; may contains some angst *cough*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jackandsamforever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackandsamforever/gifts).



> This is to my wonderful friend jackandsamforever, written for the Secret Santa thingy in our Redzie group on facebook. She gave me this prompt and I effectively worked my way around it until I couldn't put it off anymore. Sorry for the delay, hun. A huge THANK YOU! goes out to criminalkeen for being an awesome beta and actually putting up with my stuff. Thank you.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist or any of the characters on the show.

Chapter 1

It had been five years now. Five years after Berlin had come into their lives, destroying them. Five years since Meera had been killed. Five years since she had ratted out Red and then regretted it. Five years since he had told her that nothing else mattered if he would lose her. Five years since she had decided to quit it all. Quit the ordeal that had become her life, her job, her friends... quit everything and went to him, with only a couple of bags in both her hands. It had been five years since she had seen that astonished and relieved look on his face when she had stepped out of the cab. Five years on the run. On the run with him; with him and Dembe, of course. It had been almost five years since Lizzie and Red had become a couple...

~ flashback ~

After a couple of months of travelling through the US, their first destination had been Rome, Italy. Why? Simply because Red loved Rome, and he had sworn to her that she would come to love it too from the moment they exited the plane. He had been right, of course he had been. Liz had forgotten about everything the second she stepped out of the jet and into the warm summer night of Rome. She had instantly forgotten about being tired and wanting to turn in early; a privilege they wouldn't be getting very often now.

Red had watched her the whole time as she stood there, a duffel bag in hand, with the sunset illuminating her in a warm glow. She was so beautiful he couldn't tear his eyes from her, not even when she finally turned to look at him.

"It's so beautiful!"

"Yes," Red managed to croak and then cleared his throat. "Would you like to go sightseeing?"

Her eyes widened and a huge smile spread over her face. "Can we?"

'We.' So she wouldn't mind if he tagged along. "Of course." He watched as her smile broadened before she looked off into the sunset over the city.

Movement to his left caught Red's attention and he turned to look at his long-time friend, who was smiling affectionately at Liz's back, before sharing a quick smirk with Red. The latter walked the few step towards the woman and gently touched her elbow to get her attention. "How about we take this up to the house and then take a stroll through the city?" Liz nodded in agreement and let him guide her to the car that was waiting for them.

The trip to the hotel was quick and soon Red and Liz were on their way again, strolling through the streets with Dembe close by. It seemed like Liz had gotten a second wind somehow as she walked from attraction to attraction like she hadn't just been about to fall asleep a couple of minutes ago. For dinner they settled into a quiet little restaurant. Though Liz had repeatedly invited Dembe to their table, at one time even threatening bodily harm, the bodyguard had stayed seated at the bar, his eyes on the entrance. They had a nice dinner, followed by a shared dessert. Red would've loved nothing more than to spoon-feed her the tiramisu… or lick away the cream that had landed at the corner of her mouth, for that matter. By now he had moved his chair next to hers, so they could both gaze out the big window to take a look at the city by night, while Red pointed out several buildings to her.

He noticed how she absently rubbed her arms and immediately shrugged off his jacket to place it around her shoulders, leaving his arm around her. He tried to stifle the smile that was about to spread over his face when she leaned into his side, placing her head on his shoulder.

"Are you warm enough?" He whispered into her hair and could feel her nod at his question.

Her left hand was placed on his thigh while her right arm had wound itself around his back, so she could pull herself closer to him.

"Red?"

"Mhm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

He opened his eyes. When had he closed them? "Of course," he answered, covering her left hand with his right one. She was starting to drive him crazy with the little circles she kept drawing on his thigh.

She lifted her head from his shoulder and faced him, their faces only inches apart now, their breaths mingling. "Would you think less of me if I were to be upfront and honest with you?"

Her breath was tickling his face as she spoke. "I would never think less of you, Lizzie."

"Promise?"

He gave her a smile. "I promise, sweetheart."

She took a deep breath and moistened her lips and his eyes couldn't do anything but track the movement of her tongue. He was taken by surprise when she leaned in and pressed her soft lips against his. It took him a moment to get out of his state of shock before he pressed against her mouth, the hand covering hers moving up to cup her face as he gently moved his lips over hers. The tip of his tongue traced her bottom lip, asking for entrance and when their tongues finally met inside her hot, wet mouth, there was nothing that he could do to keep the moan from escaping his throat.

Her left hand was squeezing his leg, while her right one was now tightly grasping his side and Red moved his arm from around her shoulder to tangle his fingers in her soft hair. He put all his heart and soul into that kiss, showing her just how much he wanted her. When she finally pulled back, they were both panting heavily, but Red was far from finished, so he leaned in again and started peppering her neck with hot open-mouthed kisses. The hand that was previously clutched at his back was cupping the back of his head now, her nails gently scratching over his scalp and he thought that if this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up again. The breathless moan that escaped her throat, when he had apparently hit a sensitive spot, spurred him on and he moaned against her skin.

Someone cleared their throat behind them and both pulled away. Lizzie blushed heavily and averted her eyes as Dembe stepped up to them.

"Raymond, it looks like it's going to rain soon. I will get the car to pick you up."

Red looked at his friend. "No need. I don't think it will rain before we get to the house. But thank you, my friend."

Dembe nodded and shot a look at Liz, who was still looking at the floor, her ears bright pink. Then he turned back to Red and gave him a knowing grin, before leaving them alone again. The concierge of crime looked at his favorite FBI agent, who had her hands on her own legs by now, while Red himself had his arm still wrapped around her shoulder, albeit loosely. He let his thumb run over her shoulder blade and used his free hand to cup her chin, making her look at him. Her cheeks were still tinted in an adorable shade of red and he found himself smiling gently at her before leaning in to place the softest of kisses on her lips.

"Ready to leave?" he murmured, his face not even an inch from hers.

"Yes," she managed to breathe out.

Red stood and then pulled her up, using the grip on her hands to pull her in for another kiss. The feelings inside his body were hard to explain. Every time he got to kiss his Lizzie, his heart would constrict painfully inside his chest, while butterflies were going crazy in his stomach. It was a truly amazing feeling he had never felt before. Then again, he had never kissed his Lizzie before. He watched her lick her lips when they pulled apart and almost groaned at the sight. He was crazy for her.

Red placed a hand against the small of her back to steer them out of the restaurant. As they were walking down the streets, the sky broke and fat raindrops started pelting down on them, catching them by surprise. Liz let out a shriek as the cold wetness touched her skin. They were still a good ten minutes from their safe house, when Red grabbed her hand and started running, pulling her along. It was only a couple more steps until they would reach the house now, when Liz suddenly stopped in her tracks, effectively bringing Red to a halt.

"Lizzie, we're almost there," he told her.

They were soaked anyway, so why the rush? She looked at him and he barely registered the smile she shot him before she leaned in to kiss him. Drops of rain were running down their faces, too thick to run between their joined lips. Red didn't waste any time pulling her closer, hugging her to his chest, while never leaving her mouth.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Dembe exclaimed from where he was standing at the front door, unlocking it before entering the house, shaking his head at the two.

When Red and Liz parted, they were both dripping wet, but very content, judging by their smiles. Red took off his coat and placed it around her. She looked questioningly at him. "We're drenched anyway, Red."

"You're wearing a white blouse," he told her with a quirk of his lip.

She looked down and his gaze followed hers. She really was wearing a white blouse. Now completely transparent, showing off her red lace bra. And judging by the look in his eyes, he was aware of that fact as well. The heat in his gaze was warming her chilled bones. Liz shivered and pulled the coat tighter, deeply inhaling his scent that surrounded her. He gave her a knowing smile and Liz wanted nothing more than to lick the little droplets of rain from his upper lip.

"Though I'm quite enjoying seeing you like this, sweetheart, I suggest we move inside. I wouldn't want you to turn into ice."

Words like 'I know a way or two you could warm me up' went through her head and she chided herself for having her mind in the gutter. Red made her brain go to mush and there was nothing she could do about it. She let him steer them inside the house and towards one of the many bedrooms with an adjoining bathroom.

"I'll leave you to change. If you're not too tired, you could -" He broke off mid-sentence. They were standing in the middle of the room and Liz was starting to unbutton her blouse, pulling the wet cloth from her chilled skin, without so much as a blink."Eh..." 'Smart, Raymond.' "Lizzie -"

She let the blouse fall to the floor, effectively shutting him up again. How she could go from acting like a shy virgin and then like a bold stripper, she didn't know. He just seemed to have that effect on her; she wasn't even nervous.

"Red seems to be the right color on me, don't you think?" She asked, shimmying out of her jeans.


	2. Chapter 2

He had apparently lost the ability to speak as his gaze finally moved from the safe spot at her exposed shoulder over her chest, taking in her lace-covered breasts, before moving down her body, making her shiver without even touching her. Red really suited her well - the color, not him - but her innuendo had been more than obvious. Why she wanted him was a mystery to him though.

He could see the muscles in her stomach move restlessly and he knew that she was starting to fidget under his eyes. She just wasn't as bold as she was pretending to be just a few minutes ago. His eyes travelled back up her taut stomach and chest, towards her eyes. Oh, she was nervous alright. Did she really think he would be the one not wanting her? Red had actually been afraid it would be the other way around, but here she was, standing in front of him in only her underwear. Her red lace underwear.

He took a step closer and placed his hands on her waist, feeling her jump slightly. "You're so beautiful," he told her, his voice low and raspy, giving it an even deeper tone than usual. The effect it had was remarkable: within seconds her skin was covered in goosebumps and her fine hair stood to attention. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He asked, before he moved in to place a kiss to her left clavicle, enjoying the sound of her inhaling sharply. He moved one of his hands from her waist over her stomach, stroking away the wetness and leaving a warmth behind that spread through her whole body. "You're such a beautiful woman, sweetheart. Remarkably sensual, simply magnificent. The words to describe your true beauty have not been invented yet and I fail to come up with some that would come close."

"Red..." she moaned breathlessly at his words and he could feel his body reacting immediately.

He used the grip at her waist to pull her to him, placing his lips against her jaw and leaving small kisses down her neck. He felt her hand at the back of his head again; it seemed like that really was her weak spot. Red made a mental note to himself and was excited to discover more of those sensitive areas. He let his fingers dance over the skin at her side and Liz huffed, moving her body to the left and away from his touch.

He pulled his head back and looked questioningly at her. Liz bit the inside of her cheek, blushing slightly, as she started toying with the buttons on his vest. She loved seeing him all dressed up. "I'm a little ticklish."

His face turned soft as he looked fondly at her. "Ticklish, you say?"

She gave him a warning look and grabbed his tie. "Don't even think about it." - He wouldn't, not at that moment anyway. It seemed like just then Liz noticed that her current grip on his piece of clothing could actually be used to her advantage. She instantly tugged him closer. "Kiss me."

When she spoke, her lips almost touched his and if he would have just pursed his lips, he would have been able to feel their softness. Red held her gaze while trying to calm his racing heart as his breath caressed her face with every exhale. Apparently he had taken too long, because she suddenly yanked him forward by his tie and crushed their lips together. His hands went around her body, pulling her flush against him. Red steered them towards the bed and gently pushed her onto it, following suit. He braced himself on his forearms so she wouldn't be squished by his full weight.

Red leaned his head down, their faces only inches apart now. "Are you sure about this, sweetheart? We don't have to."

She quickly pecked his lips. "I want to. I want you," she told him, while running her hands over his arms.

Red closed his eyes at her words. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that." His voice sounded hoarse. Liz put one of her hands to the back of his head and pulled him closer so their lips were touching.

"Raymond," she spoke against his mouth and his eyes shot open, as he pulled back to look at her. His name on her lips sounded so very sweet. This was more than he could've ever hoped for. He thought back to the moment when he had prepared to leave… leave the city, the country probably, but also to leave her. The pain had been excruciating, but then she had stepped out of the cab and just stood there with the wind blowing through her hair. Red would never tell anyone, but seeing her come to him, when he thought it was all over, had almost made him cry. He wanted her to have a normal life, wanted her to have a husband and a bunch of kids; he didn't want her to miss out on that, but he also didn't want her to want anyone but him. Though it was a very selfish thought on his part, he couldn't help it. He loved her.

"Oh, Lizzie..." He was set on showing her just how much he wanted her, to show her exactly what she did to him.

Their lovemaking had been slow and sensual. He had taken his time discovering her body, looking for freckles and kissing them when he found them. He practically worshipped her body, relishing her breathless moans. If he died now, he would die a happy man. She had ruined him… or had he ruined her?

They were together, her warm body pressed to his, her hand caressing the skin over his heart and her face nestled in the crook of her his neck...

They spent their fair share of time in bed together. Though they were always on the run, switching cities regularly and countries after a maximum stay of six months, they would always find time to be intimate. He wasn't exactly getting careless, he was just handling things in a more relaxed manner and he had Dembe to keep them safe. There was no one he trusted more than his long time friend.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame on me for forgetting to update here as well. I'm sorry!

He had liked waking up to Belgium waffles in Brussels, but waking up in Lucerne, Switzerland three months later topped it all. He could feel warm fingers dancing over his chest and through the soft curls on it, followed by oh-so-lovely lips, which were gently kissing his skin. His hand found its way into her hair, tangling in the soft strands and gently massaging her scalp. He hummed when he felt her press a lingering kiss to the spot above his heart and slowly opened his eyes. "G'morning," he said, his voice raspy and full of sleep.

"Good morning," she replied, her breath hot against his skin and her hands moving restlessly over his body. He really liked where this was going. "I need to do some shopping today. And before you say it, I'm perfectly capable of going by myself."

"Mhm..." He used the gentle grip on her to pull her in for a kiss. "You sure you want to go alone?" She nodded. "What do you need to buy anyway?"

She sat back on her legs and he could see that she was wearing his shirt. It looked better on her anyway...

"Well, it's almost Christmas," she simply stated with a smile and his heart stopped for a moment.

"Lizzie..." He sighed. "I don't celebrate Christmas." As soon as the words had left his mouth, he saw her face fall, though she quickly tried to school her features. Of course she knew what had happened over twenty years ago, but she thought that now, after everything they'd been through, she could show him how wonderful Christmas could be. It was her first Christmas away from home, away from family and friends; it would be another Christmas without her dad, without celebrating, since Tom had always been away and her dad had been the one to get the family together; and it was the first Christmas she would share with Red. Or not.

"Right..." Liz got up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom to change.

"Lizzie -"

"I understand," she interrupted. "It was stupid, I'm sorry." With that she pulled the door shut, leaving Red on the bed, not at all sure how to handle this. A short while later she walked out of the small room, dressed and with a little make-up on, with her head held too high and her shoulders pushed back too far. "I shouldn't be gone too long," she told him, without shooting him a glance.

"Sweetheart, come here," Red said and patted the mattress.

"I have my phone with me," she replied and left without another word.

THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST

Liz hadn't returned before late in the evening and if Red hadn't had seen her cell's GPS blink on the screen in front of him, he would had been worried. He wasn't keeping tabs on her. It was simply for security reasons.

He had found her on the balcony, overlooking Lucerne and its huge mountains. She was holding some kind of small notepad and seemed lost in thought. Red grabbed a blanket from one of the chairs and draped it over her shoulder, leaning in to kiss her cheek, leaving his hands on her shoulders. "How was your day?"

She shrugged. "Fine."

"Did you -"

"Raymond?" She interrupted. She only used his given name when she was turned on... or mad. She didn't seem very turned on right now.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I would like to be alone for a while."

His heart clenched at her words. She was hurting, but so was he. He would give her time, as much as she needed. He just hoped she wouldn't leave him. "Of course," he said in an almost whisper, before leaving her to her thoughts.

The next couple of days hadn't been much different and Red wondered if that was it for them. It was Christmas Eve and Liz had left the house that morning, when he found the little black notepad on her bedside table. She had been writing in that thing for a while now. Red pondered his options. He didn't want to disturb her privacy, but at last, curiosity got the best of him.

He opened the notepad and randomly skipped to one part.

'Daddy... I know you would frown at me for the choices I've made, but I don't regret them. I guess somehow it was my fate to end up here. There was actually not much else I could've done. The outcome would've been the same. At least I can say that I'm happy. I really am. It's tough sometimes. I miss work. So very much. Christmas without you is so pointless. I remember the cinnamon cookies we made every year, the smell of the Christmas tree with the gifts underneath. You would wrap them in golden paper with a red bow. I remember listening to Frank Sinatra's Christmas Carol coming from the stereo for hours. How we sat on the couch after dinner. We would always eat the same. I miss the Christmas ham with mashed potatoes and green beans you used to make. I had my last real Christmas with you. I miss you so much. I love you, Daddy.'

Red swallowed hard at her words. He could see that she had been crying while writing this. Some of the words at the end were smudged. His heart was hurting for her. He needed to do something.

THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST THE BLACKLIST

Liz quickened her pace as she walked home. It was late already and the sun had set, leaving her walking around in the snow without any kind of warmth. She could barely feel her face anymore and wanted nothing more than to get inside their house. Their house... it really was theirs. She felt stupid for how she had treated Red lately. Of course he was still hurting and of course he wouldn't want to celebrate Christmas. She had gotten him something anyway, but would wait to give it to him on another day. First, she needed to make it up to him. Slipping under the covers and curling up around his warm body sounded like a perfect start.

She went into the house and stopped dead in her tracks. Liz would've thought that she had entered the wrong house if not for Red and Dembe sitting at the table, sipping their drinks while playing chess. Her favorite criminal turned to look at her. He was wearing one of her favorite 3-piece suits: the simple grey one, minus the matching fedora, of course.

He seemed anxious of her reaction. Liz took in the huge Christmas tree with a box of ornaments standing on the table next to it. There were neatly wrapped gifts underneath the tree. The paper was golden colored. The house was decorated with lights and glitter and there were little snowmen and Santas standing around. Frank Sinatra was singing "White Christmas" softly. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks and when she finally looked back at him, she could see unshed ones in his eyes as well.

A loud sob broke from her throat and she dropped the bags in her hand and hurried towards him. He stood immediately and stepped in her direction, his arms opening for her. She crashed into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him, tucking her face into the crook of his neck as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Ray." His name came out in a strained voice. "I'm so - so"

"Shh..." Red hugged her even closer and pressed a kiss to her head. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's alright."

After a couple of minutes she pulled her head back to look at him. There still were tears streaming down her cheeks and her make-up was all smudged, but she still managed to look beautiful. He cupped her cheek in his hand and used his thumb to brush away some of the wetness.

"Ray... I..."

Red leaned forward and kissed her softly before tucking some wild strand of her hair behind her ear. She caught his eyes again and they just looked at each other.

"I love you, Ray."


	4. Chapter 4

"I love you, Ray."

His heart stopped beating then. He had this beautiful, truly amazing woman in his arms, who had just declared her love for him. Could life get any better? A smile slowly spread across his face as he squeezed her back. "Oh, Lizzie..." He touched his lips to hers. "I love you. I love you so much." He could feel her ragged breath against his face, before she crushed her lips to his, kissing him passionately.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as she moved her mouth over his, trying to pull herself even closer. He couldn't help but chuckle when he felt her tugging on his shirt.

"Do you need some time alone?" Dembe asked from where he was sitting at the table.

Liz and Red broke apart and the latter started laughing, while Liz hid her face in his chest. "You, my friend, have horrible timing," he told him.

"Well, I wasn't going to wait and see if you were going to take off each other's clothes,” came the dry reply.

Red felt lips at his jaw and looked down at Liz. "I'll go wash up." She untangled herself from him and started walking away, but he pulled her back into his chest and kissed her deeply.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too," she whispered back and then went to freshen up, leaving Red to watch her walk away.

"You've got it bad, my friend," Dembe said.

"I know..." He sighed, before turning to his bodyguard and longtime friend. "She's..." Red fought to find the right words.

"Everything?" Dembe offered.

A smile graced Reddington's face. "Everything and so much more."

They stayed quiet for a moment. "How are you feeling about this?"

The Concierge of Crime sighed. "I'm... strangely, I feel alright. Now that she's happy. Nothing else matters."

They heard Liz bouncing excitedly down the stairs and shared a smile. The woman wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed his cheek, nuzzling the side of his face with her nose as Red leaned into her.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart? Dembe cooked. You wouldn't believe his skills in the kitchen."

"Now I'm curious," she said before releasing Red and sitting down next to him.

As Dembe put the dish together, clarity suddenly flooded her mind. Her heart started racing when she noticed just what had been cooked for her. Her dad’s recipe. "Ray..." She was already tearing up again.

"I know," he answered, wrapping his arm around her to pull her closer, dropping a kiss to her cheek.

She sniffled a little and tightly grabbed onto his leg, before turning her head and searching out his lips. Red angled her head so he could kiss her the way he wanted to, running his tongue over her bottom lip before slipping it into her welcoming mouth.

"Oh, get a room," Dembe groaned, holding a bowl with mashed potatoes in his hands.

Red chuckled against her mouth, before pulling away with a smile. They ate the wonderfully prepared dinner and had a lighthearted conversation. They were more than stuffed afterwards and Dembe decided to take only four cookies instead of the whole plate up to his room, leaving the two lovers alone.

Red took Liz's hand and pulled her towards the couch. She immediately curled up against him, one of her hands finding its way past his vest and dress shirt, to touch his skin. Her head was neatly tucked under his chin, relishing in his unique scent. "I have something for you," she said and her breath tickled his neck.

"You're already more than I deserve," he replied earnestly.

Liz chose not to respond, he wouldn't argue about this anyway. She stood and went to retrieve the gift and held it out for him to take. It was a small box, maybe as big as a passport is wide with a red bow attached to it.

"Lizzie..." He hesitantly took the offered box. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." She nervously bit her bottom lip.

Red opened the box and looked the item before carefully lifting it out from its box. It was a vintage looking pocket watch in bronze. He opened the locket to reveal a black clock face with red hands. It was a beautiful handicraft and weighed heavily in his hands. At second glance he saw that there was a photo attached to the inner side of the locket. It had been taken in Rome, that much was clear from the scenery in the background, but he couldn't remember anyone taking it. It must have been Dembe. The photo showed his Lizzie hugging him from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He had his eyes closed and was leaning his head against her with a smile on his face. On the bottom was a small engraving that read 'Yours'. Red swallowed hard past the lump in his throat.

"Lizzie..." His voice was hoarse and full of emotion.

"Do you like it?" she whispered and he looked up to see her biting her lip again.

His eyes were glazed over and for a moment he let her see just how much this gift meant to him. He cupped her right cheek and pulled her in for another kiss. "Thank you, Lizzie," he said softly against her mouth. They parted and Red pulled her against his side, both now studying the pocket watch. "It's beautiful." He carefully put the watch back in the box and laid it on the coffee table before standing up to walk toward the tree. They would decorate it first thing in the morning. He picked up three of the neatly wrapped presents and handed her two of them, keeping one on his lap.

"Ray, you shouldn't have."

"Oh, shush. Just open it."

She took off the wrapping paper and opened the small jewellery box inside. It held a silver necklace with a heart shaped charm. A small red stone was embedded right in the middle. [Liz took the necklace out and saw an engraving on the backside. It was simple, unlike the man next to her, but it meant the world to her. 'L&R' did he have to be so cute?] She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love it, Ray! Thank you so much. Help me put it on?"

"Of course, sweetheart." He took the necklace from her hands and waited until she had turned around, then lifted her hair. He fastened the silver necklace around her and couldn't resist kissing her exposed neck, making her giggle softly.

"Thank you." She beamed at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

As she turned her attention to the second gift, he could feel his body tensing. He didn't know what her reaction would be. He watched as Liz lifted the leather bound book from the opened box and curiously opened it. He heard her gasp and saw that she was trembling slightly. She didn't say anything, as she touched the photos inside, before turning the page and repeating the action. From where he was quietly sitting on the couch, he could see the tears running down her cheeks.

It had taken some great effort to get the photos and to get them to Lucerne this quickly, but nothing could have stopped him from doing this for his Lizzie. He had bought the leather bound book and had carefully glued the photos inside. It contained pictures of her childhood, her life with her dad, Sam. It was a complete documentation of her first days with Sam up to the moment when she had moved to college and then graduated from the FBI academy. Everything was titled and dated exactly. A loud sob escaped her throat and Red didn't hesitate. He put the box from his lap on the arm of the couch and quickly moved to pull her shaking body against him. He felt one of her arms wrap around him to hug him tightly and he soothingly kissed the crown of her head as she cried. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, with him holding her close while she wept.

"Thank you," she sobbed.  
He didn't respond, couldn't respond, so he held her tighter, nuzzling his nose in her hair and inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. “Merry Christmas, Lizzie,” he finally whispered softly.

She tightened her arms around him and released a shuddering breath. “Merry Christmas, Ray.” Her voice was hoarse and sounded fragile. “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, he pulled back to look at her. "You're exhausted, sweetheart," he commented, wiping at some of the tears on her cheeks. "Let's get you to bed."

They stood and collected their gifts and Red led her to their bedroom. He put the pocket watch on his nightstand and sat on the mattress.

"What's that?" She asked, pointing at the unopened box in his lap.

"My gift." He grinned mischievously.

"To yourself?" She asked and he nodded. "Now, I'm curious. Open it," Liz said and came to a stop in front of him. He did as he was told, all the while grinning. He took off the lid and then proceeded to take one of the items out of the box. "Oh my god!" Liz laughed. "Are you serious?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Finally caught up! Enjoy Chp. 5 then!

"Oh my god!" Liz laughed. "Are you serious?"

"Very much so," he replied, holding the item up to fully show it to her.

"And you want me to wear that," she stated.

His eyes were full of lust, almost black in color. "Yes." He looked like he could barely conceal a moan.

Liz took the piece of cloth and the box and went into the bathroom without another word.

It was lingerie. He had bought her lace lingerie. Red lace lingerie, of course. The cloth would barely reach the top of her thighs and on the left side was a slit that reached up to the side of her stomach, only just covering her navel. Still inside the box was the matching slip, which looked more than tiny. She knew he knew exactly just how short and tight fitting the thing was. 'That dirty bastard'. She grinned to herself as she started undressing. Liz slipped on the red panties and started feeling a little insecure. These clothes would leave her more than a little exposed. She was getting more and more nervous, the longer she thought about it. He was expecting her to come out dressed in his gift and after everything he had gone through for her, she could humor him at least.

Without another thought she slipped on the top and checked her appearance one more time, before taking a deep breath and exiting the bathroom. Red was lying in the middle of the bed now, hands behind his head and slightly propped up against the headboard. His eyes flew to her and a lopsided grin spread across his face, making her heart pace quicken. He licked his lips and swallowed hard.

"Well, hello." His voice was low and deep, sending shivers through her. She would feel better when he wasn't openly ogling her, so she made her way to the bed, trying not to run, and climbed onto the mattress to straddle his lap.

"Have you been a good boy?"

Red's hands flew to her waist. "A very good boy," he moaned.

Liz leaned down and started placing kisses over his jaw and towards the corner of his lips. She didn't touch them as she instead moved to his chin and down to his neck, making him groan and grip her waist tightly. Liz softly bit into the tender skin under his lobe. One of his hands started travelling over the front of her body, only brushing over her breasts as it went up to the side of her neck, his fingers ghosting over her cheek as he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Lizzie?" He said against her mouth.

"Mhm?" She murmured and let her hands wander over his chest, loosening his tie.

He pulled back to look at her. For a while they were just staring at each other and Liz could feel herself quickly becoming nervous again. "Sweetheart, calm down. Your heart is about to jump out of your chest."

She released a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "It's just us. You and I." 'Exactly,' Liz thought. "And I love you for who you are." He continued as if he'd heard her thoughts. "If you feel uncomfortable -"

"No," she interrupted. "I'm fine."

"Lizzie." He took her face in his hands and smiled gently at her. "I can see that you're not fine. I can feel your heart racing. Sweetheart -"

Her lips on his shut him up and he moaned into the kiss. "I love you," she said when she had pulled away.

"What can I do?"

Liz pulled the tie from his neck and threw it over her shoulder. "Can you be on top? I -" Before she had even finished, he had flipped them, so that her back was on the mattress, with him covering her body. She loved him so much for it.

"You're beautiful," he told her, running one hand over the red lace covering her skin. "So very beautiful."

Liz started unbuttoning his vest before starting on his dress shirt, revealing a patch of chest hair. She loved his body; he was such a handsome man, downright sexy. She tugged the shirt free from his pants and loosened another button, before stopping to run her fingers through his chest hair. He took off his vest and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt before tossing it away. Then he watched her curiously as she kept running her hands over him. Her eyes raked over his body until they locked with his.

"Make love to me, Ray."

Red almost choked at her words. She never ceased to surprise him. He leaned in and touched his lips to hers, his hand wandering under the red lace covering her upper body, making her quiver in anticipation...


	6. Chapter 6

They had moved on from Switzerland and had ended up in Perth, Australia, where Liz had instantly fallen in love with a quokka. She had found the little guy near a dumpster. She had given him water and fed him an apple before scratching him behind his ear. "Look how cute he is, Ray!" Liz exclaimed as the animal made a pleased noise.

Red pinched the bridge of his nose. He and Dembe had been leaning against a fence for the past 45 minutes without uttering a word. "Right. Can we carry on now?"

"But, Red, look!" She turned her head and both she and the quokka were looking at him with big eyes.

"I can see him, Lizzie."

"Touch him. He's so soft."

"I can see him just fine from over here."

The former FBI agent struck out her bottom lip. "Red..."

She was playing dirty. "Lizzie..." He started to say something, but then Liz bit her bottom lip and he could feel himself caving. "Alright." He sighed and walked the few steps towards the couple.

"You can touch him." Liz encouraged.

Just to please her, Red extended his hand and let the animal sniff him, before gently running his fingers through his fur. He looked up to see Liz watching him with a fond expression. Alright, he got it, she was a sucker for his soft side. He used his free hand to cup her cheek, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone, and leaned in to kiss her. "Are we ready to go?" He asked softly after they parted.

Liz nodded and gave her new friend a last pat to the head, before straightening up. She took Red's offered hand and both went over to Dembe.

"It looks like we are going to be cooking for four tonight," the tall man said, looking over their shoulders. Red and Liz turned and saw that the quokka had followed them.

"Awww! He wants to come with us." Liz was already kneeling down next to the animal again.

"Lizzie," Red warned.

"We can't just leave him here."

"He probably has a family, Lizzie."

"You saw him, Red, he was all alone," she argued.

"Sweetheart -"

"Please, Ray."

'There she goes again. Foul play. But those eyes... her pouty lips...' "Alright, take him with you," he said at last.

Liz gave him a toothy smile, her eyes sparkling with happiness, before she picked up the quokka, which made a purring noise. She gave Red a kiss and hugged the animal against her chest.

"She has you wrapped around her little finger, Raymond," Dembe said in a low voice.

"Oh, shut up," Red replied and the other man laughed.

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He wasn't happy. Not one bit. This was taking it too far.

"Eliz -" He cleared his throat. God, he was tired. "Elizabeth!"

"Yeah?" Her voice was muffled by the bathroom door.

"What is that thing doing in my bed?!"

Liz stuck her head into the room. "Looks like he's sleeping."

Red frowned at her. "I can see that. Why?"

"Just look how cute he is," Liz said and as if the little quokka had heard them, he made a content noise.

"I don't care what he looks like, I don't want him in my bed. How did he get in here?"

Liz started walking into the bedroom. "He came in last night. I guess he was lonely or scared. It's a wonder you didn't wake up. I must have worn you out," she told him with a cheeky smile, as she climbed onto the bed and straddled him.

His hands immediately went to her hips, his thumbs slipping under her tank top. "Don't change the subject. So you thought it'd be a good idea to let him sleep with us?"

"Look who's awake. Hi, Stuart!"

"Stuart?!"

Liz shrugged and watched as the animal walked over and sleepily flopped down again, curling up in the space between Red's arm and his body.

"What the -"

Liz clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud. "Seems like this is going to be a group cuddle."

"Lizzie -"

She leaned down and kissed one of his stubbly cheeks before resting against his chest. Red closed his free arm around her back, moving the other one so the animal could rest more comfortable as well. Was this how it would be if he and Lizzie had a child? Cuddling up on a Saturday morning, just holding each other? He loved her; he would do anything for her. He was pudding in her hands and he had a feeling she was aware of that too.


	7. Chapter 7

As the years came and went, Liz grew more and more accustomed to the constant moving, going from a villa to a cave-like surrounding, before moving on to a nice hotel suite. It wasn't a lifestyle she would've ever chosen if not for him. Every morning he woke up and saw her lying next to him, making his eyes light up in a way she hadn't seen before they had become intimate. He loved her, she knew he did, but he could be so damn annoying at times. This was Raymond Reddington after all; the man was infuriating. They fought, not often, but they did fight from time to time and it would make Dembe sneak from the house as if he was a kid who couldn't bear hearing his parents fight.

She wasn't even sure anymore what had gotten them into this fight, but she was mad. She could feel it deep inside her body.

"Why do you have to be such a damn bastard?!" She yelled at him from the other side of the kitchen island.

He was nonchalantly cutting a tomato, as if they hadn't been arguing for the past 20 minutes. "Well, you knew this before. Maybe you shouldn't have come with me then." He had a feeling those words shouldn't have left his mouth as he looked up to see her staring at him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have," she said in a cold voice, before grabbing her jacket and leaving the warmth of the house for the cold and wet weather in Southend-On-Sea, which was only two hours from London.

Red dropped the cutting knife and let his head hang. He hated fighting with her. He knew that she was only worried about his safety, but there was not much he could do about it. He was the Concierge of Crime after all. Red washed and dried his hands, when he heard the front door open an hour later. Had she already forgiven him, or was she going to ram another pen into his neck?

"Lizzie, I'm - Dembe," He stopped in his tracks.

The other man gave him a once over. "I take it she has left the house?"

Red sighed. "Trace the GPS in her cell, will you? I need to talk to her."

"I don't think that will be of help," Dembe said as he leaned over and took the black device from a sideboard.

"Damn it!" Red swore. He took his jacket and fedora off the rack and put them on. "I have a good idea where she might be."

He decided to drive the car himself for the 15 minute long ride. He knew her well enough to believe he was right about her whereabouts. He parked the car on the side of the abandoned road and made the last hundred yards over the jetty on foot. It was getting darker already, but he could make her out just fine where she was sitting on the wooden planks. He gracefully sat down next to her. He hadn't brought anything with him, remembering how she had told him not to buy her expensive gifts, but to show her he loved her instead. He loved her even more for that, if that was possible.

"You're right. I'm a bastard, a selfish bastard for doing this to you. As much as I want you, as much as I want you to want me, I should've given this thing more thought. Lizzie, if you don't want this anymore, you're free to go, of course. I wouldn't want you to -"

"Go where, Raymond? And do what exactly? I've been on the run with you for five years now. You think I could just go back to my old life? I'm as much a fugitive as you are."

"Mr. Kaplan could make it look like I kidnapped y -" Before he could even finish the sentence, he felt her hand connect with his cheek with a loud smack. The burning sensation told him that his cheek would be bright red now.

"How can you say that, Ray? How can you even think it?! I'm head over heels in love with you, even though you piss me off more than I could've ever imagined, you thick-headed idiot!"

Red only hesitated a second before sealing her mouth with his, pressing her down on the wood beneath them. His hat was knocked off his head and fell down somewhere next to her. He felt her arms come around his body as they continued kissing passionately. He pulled back and took her face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Lizzie."

She stroked over the red skin of his cheek. "So am I. I just worry so much about you. I can't lose you."

"You won't," he told her firmly. "Lizzie, I will always do everything in my power to come back to you. I love you."

"I love you, too." He shot her a smile and started kissing down her neck, taking off his jacket and putting it on the wooden planks. Liz pulled back. "Ray?"

"I've dreamed about this. Making love to you by the water."

She moaned at his words, but the noise was swallowed by his firm but soft lips on hers.


	8. Chapter 8

They would be together for 5 years this week. She hadn't even been that long with her lying, cheating husband. Liz loved Red, loved him deeply and she was excited that even though the circumstances weren't the best, they still made one hell of a team and it did help some, that Dembe mostly chose to side with her. She had learned to love the man; he was a truly amazing and loyal friend. They had been staying in Guangzhou, China for a couple of months and she was glad to be far more west now. She didn't know how many ducks her stomach could handle. They were just... hanging around at those crowded markets and things smelled funny as well. Red had tried to get her to eat some grilled grasshoppers but she had just flipped him the bird.

He had popped one into his mouth and told her she didn't need to be afraid. She hadn't let him kiss her for almost a week. He had never told her that he was waiting for her to fall asleep, so he could seek out her lips. And she had never told him that she knew.

She was sitting at the stern of the yacht they had been on for a couple of days now, letting her feet touch the water beneath. She was wearing a red bikini, Red's choice of course, and her skin had turned golden from the sun at the Côte d'Azur. She felt his presence before she could feel his hands on her shoulders.

He stood closely, his legs pressing against her back as his hands stroked over her collarbone. Liz sighed and leaned back against him, feeling him press a kiss to her head. "What are you thinking about, love?"

A smile came to her lips. She loved this nickname and since he used to call her sweetheart most of the time, she cherished those rare moments.

"You," she answered.

"Me?"

"Mhm..." She caught his hands before they could sneak inside her bikini top. Dembe was somewhere around here and she so didn't want anyone to see them doing the horizontal tango. "And China."

His chuckle turned into a laugh and she knew he had figured out what she was talking about. "Grasshoppers. Are you still thinking about them?"

"Eww... stop! I might reconsider kissing you."

He crouched down and opened his legs to put them on either side of her body, before pulling her flush against him. "Can't have that," he said, before peppering her neck with kisses. She leaned her head to the left to grant him better access.

"Mhm... I love you."

Red hummed, sending vibrations against her neck. "I will never tire of hearing those words." He kissed her cheek softly. "When I say I love you, I don't say it out of habit. I say it to remind you, that you are the best thing that ever happened to me." His voice was low and the deep rumble made her shiver.

"Oh, Ray..." He seemed to know just how much those honest words meant to her. Liz turned her head and searched for his lips.

"I love you, Lizzie," he whispered against her mouth.

They continued kissing slowly and languidly for a while and by now they had opted for Liz lying down on Red's broad chest. He liked it better that way anyway. He could let his hands roam freely over her body, while she was pressed up against him from head to toe. It couldn't get better than this. They pulled apart at the need for oxygen and Liz's head immediately found its place tucked under his chin.

"Where are we going next?" She rarely ever asked that question anymore.

He knew exactly where they were headed, but he wanted it to be a surprise. "We'll see where the waves carry us to."

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"You are a romantic in disguise!" Liz said as she turned to him with one of the biggest smiles he'd ever seen.

"Well, this is where you first seduced me," he answered with a smug look.

She raised a brow. "I seduced you? You were the one coming onto me all those months."

He stepped closer to her and leaned in, enjoying how her eyelids fluttered closed as his warm breath caressed her face. "Then this was where you finally caved in to my intellectual brightness, my unrelenting charm and my... insurmountable countenance -"

"Don't forget your massive ego," Liz cut him off. He sure loved to hear himself talk; she knew it.

Red leaned even closer, so that their lips were almost touching. "You found my... massive ego in the villa later that night," he whispered seductively.

"Ray!" She exclaimed, hitting his arm.

"What?!" He asked innocently.

"You're unbelievable!" Though she tried, and tried hard, she couldn't stop the grin from coming to her lips.

He wound his arm around her waist. "Five years, Lizzie."

She turned her head and kissed the small scar, where she had stabbed him all those years ago. "And in the six years of knowing you, I've only tried to kill you once."

"Why, I think we did come close to a second time," Red said as he pulled back to smile fondly at her.

"Somehow you manage to piss me off more than anyone I've ever known," she said, before pecking his lips.

As they walked the few steps to their table, Liz noticed that it was the one they had sat at the first time. After eating the delicious food, Red again opted for sitting next to her, much like he had done five years ago. Liz didn't hesitate dropping her head to his shoulder, one of her hands slipping through his vest to just rest there.

She felt his lips in her hair and closed her eyes. He smelled so good. She was sure it must be illegal to smell that good.

"I love you, Lizzie," he spoke softly and she only snuggled deeper into his side. "Sweetheart..." He broke off, but her current position, tucked under his chin, didn't give her a chance to see his facial expression. "I know that this isn't the life you've dreamed of." He could feel her body stiffen and knew she wanted to protest, but he kept on talking. "This is by far not what you deserve. Even though I know that, I can't let you go, won't let you go. I refuse to let you go." He usually wasn't one for silly clichés. "I know that this can probably never be official, but it won't make the meaning less true." As he spoke, he pulled out a small box from his pocket and held it out for her to see. 

Liz was sure her heart had stopped beating altogether. Maybe she had died already. Was she still breathing?

"Be mine?" He asked as he opened the lid and produced the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. The platinum band was delicate; he knew her well. Embedded in the middle was one single red stone, a ruby, that glistened in the fine light of the candles and matched the one on her necklace. She could feel his racing heart from under her hand and thought that she even saw his hand shaking ever so slightly. This was very much a proposal, even though they might not be able to make it legal.

He was offering himself to her.


	9. Chapter 9

"Be mine?" 

Realizing that she had probably let him suffer for too long already she pulled her head from under his chin and crushed her lips to his. He responded immediately. Pulling her close, while still awkwardly holding the ring in his hand. By now she was straddling him, not caring if anyone would see them, kissing him with everything she had. Red could feel a wetness against his lips, before tasting saltiness on hers and he pulled back, cupping her cheek in one hand and smiling gently at her, with unshed tears in his eyes.

"Is that a yes?" He asked, his voice as soft as she'd never heard before.

"Yes, god, yes!" She exclaimed and kissed him again, almost knocking them both from the chair.

He huffed a laugh against her mouth and soon both were grinning too wide to continue kissing. Red took her left hand in his and gently slid the ring onto her finger, all the time holding her eyes. "I love you, Elizabeth."

She blushed at his words and put her hands against his cheeks, the platinum cool on his heated skin. "I love you, too, Raymond," she said before kissing him again.

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The drive to the villa took too long according to both Red and Liz and they couldn't stop making out in the backseat, much to the distress of Dembe, who kept begging them to stop, but was simply ignored. They had barely left their bed in the next couple of days, and they knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

They didn't know just how right they were.


	10. Chapter 10

“How far is it?" She asked again.

He smiled gently at her and took her hand in his. "Just a couple of more minutes, sweetheart." He loved her enthusiasm.

"Well, the last time around you didn't show me the Colosseum, Mr."

Red chuckled. "I was a little pre-occupied discovering the beauty of your body." There was a moan coming from the front seat. "Something on your mind, my friend?" Red asked with a grin.

"I am deciding where to get rid of you, so I can finally live in peace again," the man answered, his voice sounded uninterested.

"We need to find Dembe a girl," Liz said.

Red leaned forward and clapped his friend on the shoulder. "That's a fabulous idea! Isn't there a women's prison around here?" He asked with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up," Dembe grumbled.

They pulled up next to the Colosseum and went inside. Red had arranged for them to be the only ones around, so he could show his Lizzie everything in private.

“It's huge!" She exclaimed, turning around to get a glimpse at the surrounding masonry.

The Concierge of Crime held out his left hand, his own ring shining in the dim light. She smiled at him, before grabbing the offered hand. She remembered when she had seen him put on his ring after they had gotten to the villa that one night. Liz had asked him about wearing a ring and he had only answered, that of course he would be wearing a ring, how else would people know that he was hers and she was his.

Red pulled her out of her thoughts, when he gently touched his lips to hers. "Ready?"

"Yep."

He showed her around the fighting arena, telling her a story about gladiators and lions, when he noticed Dembe looking around.

"Dembe?" He chose to address the man.

“Something feels off," the tall man answered, looking quite serious. "We should leave."

"Ray?" Liz looked at him, her eyes widening.

"Let's go," the man in question said, gently pushing her forward. "Call Kaplan."

Just as he had finished those words, the first shot rang through the ruins, making them break into a run. They rounded a corner and ran down a couple of steps with a gate at the end. Red pushed and pulled, rattling the frame of the iron gate, but it wouldn't budge. They had to move and fast. He pushed Liz into Dembe's side, when the latter had hung up his phone. "Take her to the side access under the emperor's podium."

"Ray!" She grabbed his arm.

"Not now, Lizzie. Dembe, give me your back up."

"Ray..." She was scared, scared for him. She tried hard not to panic, but she could already feel tears pricking at her eyes. Everything had been going more than great, why was this happening now?

"Make sure she's safe," Red told his friend, checking the clip of the gun.

"Ray -"

He kissed her firmly to shut her up. "Lizzie, I love you! But if you don't leave now, I'll have Dembe carry you."

"Kaplan is already on her way. They should be here shortly," the bodyguard said.

Liz leaned in once more and kissed him softly. "I love you, Ray. Be safe." She then let Dembe pull her along with one last glance over her shoulder.

Red started sweeping the area, hoping to distract them from where Dembe was taking Lizzie. He silently approached one of the men clad in black and whacked him with the butt of the gun, knocking him out cold. It seemed like hell had broken loose then. He heard, then felt the gunshot, as the bullet flew past his head and hit the wall. He ducked to the side, then returned fire, before quickly making his way into one of the tunnels to meet with Dembe and Lizzie. Kaplan would be there soon as well and they would be fine.

The soles of his dress shoes echoed loudly off the walls. He ripped open one of the doors and released a shuddering breath of relief when he saw his two partners in crime making their way further through the tunnel, heading for some place safe. His relief was short lived, when he saw the blood on both of them. He broke into a run. "Lizzie!"

The two turned and relief shone in Dembe's dark eyes, before the man fell to his knees, almost taking Liz with him. "Dembe!" Red dashed forward and went to his knees beside his friend, taking in the bullet holes in his chest.

"He-he threw himself in front of me. I..." Liz was covered in blood and shivering heavily.

Red cradled Dembe's head and pulled him tightly into his chest, so he wouldn't choke on his own blood, while pressing his hand against one of the wounds. "You'll be fine. Kaplan and the boys will be here soon," Red told his friend. "Are you hurt, Lizzie?"

"No..." she whispered.

Red didn't look away from his friend. "Find something to lock the doors with." She nodded and went to look around.

"Raymond..." Dembe put his hand to Red's face. "It is alright, my brother."

"Shut up," Red told him softly, pressing down harder, when blood started oozing through his fingers.

"Thank you, Raymond. I can't thank you enough."

Red held him tighter. "Just hold on."

Dembe coughed and blood ran down his face. "Raymond... I will say it... again." He wheezed. By now Liz had returned and sat on the floor next to them, close enough so Dembe could see her, but not close enough to disturb them. "Ours is a friendship forged once..." He coughed again and Red swallowed hard. "in this life and... again... in the next."

"Don't you dare." Red's voice broke. They could hear yelling outside, along with heavy gunfire. "Don't do this to me."

"Raymond... don't grieve. I love you, my brother."

Liz witnessed a couple of tears drop from Red's eyes as he sat there, holding his dying friend. "I love you, brother."

A soft smile came to Dembe's face as his eyes closed and his hand dropped.

Liz breathed through her open mouth as tears streamed down her face. Her heart hurt so much at the sight of the man she had come to think of as a friend lying dead in front of her, cradled in the arms of the man she loved. Raymond was hurting badly. She could see the tears continuing to flow freely down his face as he tugged his friend closer, before burying his face in the dead man's chest.

"Raymond!" They heard Kaplan's voice from outside.

Liz got up and quickly opened the door to reveal Red's men. Kaplan took one look at her before her eyes moved to where Red was holding his friend.

"Dear Lord..." The small woman quickly made her way towards the pair and kneeled down. "Oh, Dembe..." She reached over and touched Dembe’s head. "I will take care of everything. Don't you worry, dearie," she said with a touch to Red's shoulder, before she stood and walked over to Liz, who was soaked in blood. "Let's go, dear."

"B-but Ray."

"There's nothing you can do now." Kaplan quickly ushered her out of the room.

Red continued sitting on the cold floor for hours, holding his friend. There was blood everywhere. How Dembe had even survived that long was a mystery, but the second he had seen Red, the second he knew that he had kept his promise, had kept Liz safe, the second he knew that she would be cared for, he had dropped to his knees, giving in to the injuries.

"I will get them, brother. Your death will be avenged, I promise you that," he finally whispered, pressing a kiss to the man's forehead. "I love you." He motioned over some of his men, who more than carefully lifted the dead body of their friend off of their employer. They wouldn't need instructions as to how to handle this.

Red was covered in blood. It was everywhere. He would burn his clothes, that much was clear. The hole in his heart, the empty feeling inside... it almost broke him right then and there.

Nothing would ever be the same again.


	11. Chapter 11

Liz was in the bathroom, sitting in a tub at their new safe house. They had traded their villa for the new place. The water from the showerhead kept raining down on her, the water in the tub no longer red, but freezing by now.

She felt bad for not being with Ray, but Kaplan had told her to take care of herself first. She stood on shaky legs and stepped out of the shower, before drying herself with a fluffy towel. She quickly dressed in yoga pants and one of Red's dress shirts, not bothering with a bra.

He would be back by now, so Liz walked towards the study, knowing that was the place to find him. She slowly opened the door and saw him sitting in one of the chairs, a glass of whiskey in his hand, the bottle already one third short of the liquid. He had cleaned himself up apparently and was now only wearing dress pants and a button-down shirt, which wasn't even tucked in.

"Ray?" He didn't react. Maybe he hadn't heard her. "Ray?" Liz tried again, this time reaching for his shoulder.

Before her hand could come in contact with his body, the man stood and walked towards the window. "Please leave." He spoke, his voice strained and rough.

"Ray -"

"Leave. I want to be alone."

Liz nodded. "I'll be in the bedroom, if you need anything."

He didn't seem interested and she didn't want to bother him any longer.

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He hadn't come to bed that night, and the night after that, not even the night after that. He avoided her as well as he could. He didn't eat, only drank and only whiskey. He was drunk most of the time and no one wanted to get near him while he was in this mood.

The time Liz had seen him, when Red had stumbled drunkenly through the hallway in search of the bathroom, she had seen the dark circles under his eyes, the way his eyes seemed to have fallen in and how he had already seemed to have lost a good couple of pounds. It had been a week since Dembe had been shot and killed. A week since she had last touched Red; she hadn't even been able to talk to him. That one time, on day three, she had poked at him to get a reaction, any reaction, Red had exploded. He had shouted at her to leave him alone and to take care of her own shit.

After being startled at first, she had quickly grasped the fact that she should give him a couple of more days. She knew he was hurting. Liz herself was hurting and she couldn't even imagine how Dembe's death must hurt him. She had learned that Red had taken care of Dembe's funeral and had attended it alone, too. It was hard, but if that was what he wanted, then so be it.

On day eight Lizzie had enough. She walked into the study, carrying a tray with food and drinks. She had made some scrambled eggs and bacon, buttered a few slices of bread, put out some fruits and poured him a glass of juice and some coffee.

She walked up to where he was sitting, whiskey in hand, with more than slight stubble on his face. "Eat something," she said softly. He ignored her. "Ray, you need to eat something."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" He spat.

Liz swallowed hard. "I made some scrambled eggs. Just eat some of it at least."

"Oh, you made it? Well, isn't that damn fine!" He practically jumped up from his chair and came to a stop in front of her. "That must be your greatest achievement so far!" He said sarcastically, his voice raised.

"Ray, you need to -"

"Do you know what I need? For you to fucking leave!"

She stood her ground. "I know how you must feel."

"Oh, do you now? I don't give a damn! You're the reason he's dead! You are! If it weren't for you my best friend would still be alive! His blood is on your hands! And you have the nerve to come here and tell me you know how I feel?! I’ll tell you how I feel! I feel like you should fucking leave me alone!" He shouted at her and then ripped the tray from her hands, throwing it against a wall. Glass and ceramic shattered; there was food everywhere and Liz could hardly breathe. "Leave," he growled dangerously, his eyes shimmering with sheer anger.

She had never been scared of him, not up to this point. Liz turned and made her way quickly to the bedroom, where she fell onto the mattress face first and sobbed uncontrollably. She knew what she had to do.


	12. Chapter 12

That night Red woke from a dream. A dream where Dembe had punched him square in the face for how Red had treated Liz. He only vaguely remembered what he said, but seeing the mess, he had a fairly good idea what had went on. Red wanted to slap himself. The way he had treated her hadn't been fair. It hadn't been her fault; he knew that. He would talk to her, but first he needed a shower. If he looked as bad as he felt, he didn't even want to look into a mirror.

After taking care of himself, Red made his way through the house, checking every room for Liz. His last stop was the bedroom, but he couldn't even find her there. Just as he was about to call out for someone, anyone to help him find her, he noticed a piece of paper on the mattress. His heart stopped when he saw the necklace and ring he’d given her lying on it. This wasn't happening. Red quickly walked over and took the strip of paper from the bed. The ink was smudged; she must have cried, but he could read the words just fine.

'I'm sorry' was all there was and Red felt gravity pull him down, until he was sitting on the floor, his back against the bed. A cold fist closed around his heart and the pain in his chest was almost unbearable. He felt a hot wetness run down his cheeks and couldn't hold in the sob that loudly escaped his throat.

That was how Mr. Kaplan found her employer a couple of hours later. Still sobbing and clutching the piece of paper against his chest.

"Oh, dearie..."

"She's gone, " he said. "She's gone."

"Oh my..." Kaplan touched his shoulder briefly. "I will check with security to see -"

"She's been with me for over five years. She knows how to hide. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be."

The Blacklist The Blacklist The Blacklist

Almost two months later, Liz walked through the streets of Venice. She had travelled a lot through Italy and would move on to South America in a couple of days. From there on she didn't know. The last weeks had been horrible; she had even stayed in a hospital for a while. She had to leave Italy and forget about everything.

Liz saw a little café on the left hand side of the road and decided that only some good old Italian espresso would brighten her day. Before she could even walk past the tables out front, her eyes landed on a pair, sitting in the shade. There was just no way. But the trademark fedora alone told her exactly that she was right. He looked as good as ever and even smiled from time to time. Who was that sitting with him? Was that... but it couldn't be... or could it? Was it really Madeline Pratt?


	13. Chapter 13

Before Liz could process that thought, the Concierge of Crime turned his head and was now looking directly at her. He had seen her apparently, since the smile slipped from his lips and he stared open-mouthed at her. Before she realized what she was doing, Liz turned on the spot and hurried away. She could hear the distant screech of a chair being pushed away hastily and footsteps falling over the hard pavement.

"Lizzie!" Oh, god... his voice alone almost made her cry again. The former FBI agent ducked into an alley and almost ran for it. She rounded another corner, when she felt a vice like grip on her upper arm, before she was pressed into a wall. "Lizzie..."

She couldn't help herself. Her left hand lifted on its own accord and touched his cheek. His eyes closed at the contact and Liz bit the inside of her cheek. Oh, how she had missed him.

"You should go back to your date," she said and her voice sounded off, even to her own ears.

His eyes snapped open. "That's not what it is. I swear to you, it's not." Liz only nodded half-heartedly. "Madeline only helped me find Dembe's killer. Nothing else. I promise, Lizzie."

She wanted to believe him. "It doesn't matter. It's not like we're together."

"We are... we used to be," he said regretfully.

"Not anymore. So it's not really any of my business." She tried to pull away, but he held her tightly.

"Please let me explain, let me try to explain," he begged and that wasn't something you would usually hear from Raymond Reddington. When she failed to answer, his left hand gently touched her cheek, much like she had touched his.

"You're still wearing the ring." She noted.

He nodded and that was when Liz noticed the wetness in his eyes. "I'm still committed to you."

"Ray -"

"Please," he interrupted. "Please let me explain, Lizzie." He pleaded. "Where are you staying? I could -"

"Where are you staying?" She asked back. He rattled off an address. "I'll come by."

Hope shone brightly in his eyes. "Tonight?" He asked and she nodded. He leaned his forehead against hers then. "Thank you."

"I'll see you tonight," she said and pulled free.

The Blacklist The Blacklist The Blacklist

Liz found herself at his safe house that night. She didn't know if that had been the right decision, but she was still in love with him. So very much. She gently rapped on the door and it opened only moments later. The look he gave her clearly showed that he hadn't thought she would turn up at all.

"Lizzie." The smile that came to his lips couldn't have been bigger. "Please." He opened the door further and she stepped in. "Would you like something to drink?"

Liz shook her head in the negative as she hesitantly sat down on one side of the sofa. He sat down next to her, turned towards her, but with enough space between them so she wouldn't feel suffocated.

"I'm so glad you're here. Thank you. For giving me the chance to explain. Though I'm not sure how to do that." He spent the next half an hour or so explaining his feelings to her, how he hadn't felt a pain as intense as he had with Dembe dying, since he had lost his family. He knew she was listening closely, but she gave no insight as to whether what he said even mattered anymore.

She didn't even react when he ended his confession with an 'I love you'.

"Are you done?" She asked calmly. He was afraid to nod, thinking she would leave.

"Yes..." He said softly at last.

"You broke my heart,” was the first thing that left her mouth and Red felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. "I was trying to help you cope and you broke my heart, even though you promised you wouldn't, but you did. I know what it feels like to lose the person you love. You of all people should know that I do." Another blow. "I was in a bad state. The last couple of weeks have been a horrible experience, though, under normal circumstances, they should've been anything but. Being pregnant had been far from my mind."

"You're pregnant?"

Before he could get his hopes up, she continued. "I lost it... The doctor assured me that it wasn't because of the stress, but I don't know... I..." She broke off and a lone tear made its way down her cheek.

His heart broke. For her, for their... their baby. It would've been the most beautiful baby ever, he was sure of it. His Lizzie was the mother, how could it not? He put his hand to her cheek and wiped the wetness away, before gently tugging her towards him. "I'm so sorry..." He said and his voice broke at the end.

She let herself be pulled against his chest, his scent calming her. Liz was about to close her eyes when she noticed a necklace around his neck. She gently touched the chain, pulling it from under his dress shirt. "You're wearing the ring?" she asked in amazement, for a moment forgetting all the bad that had happened to her, to them.

He nodded, "Haven't taken it off since you left."

She released a shuddering breath and dropped her head to his chest.

"I love you, Lizzie” was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep.

The Blacklist The Blacklist The Blacklist

Liz woke up and carefully untangled herself from Red's arms. The man was breathing evenly and he looked so peaceful at that moment. She had to get away from him. Had to think about everything. Would she ever be able to open her heart to him again? She silently made her way away from the living room. Instead of leaving the house, she ended up sitting in the study. Apparently she had taken up some of his quirks. The big dark brown desk held lots of papers and photos. Most of them showed them as a couple, joking, kissing, holding each other. There were even some with Stuart, the quokka. She smiled at a photo where Stuart was on Red's lap, refusing to let go of the fedora in the man's hand.

Her eyes fell on a crumpled piece of paper and she put down the photo to inspect the new item.

~ Sweetheart,

This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper than any ocean or sea; I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. If only you could hold me, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie.

So, if what you feel for me is real and what you say is true, then with all my heart do I trust thee. If you want me as your love as much as I want you as my love then so be it. I give you this heart of mine and ask nothing less or nothing more but just that you don't go breaking my heart. My love and trust is all I have to give to you, sealed with honesty throughout and as time goes by, may it grow stronger to fulfill your heart's desire.

Hear this, my declaration of love, from me to you. I love you, my Angel, with all my heart and I will never stop loving you. You are my life, you are my everything. Though distance may keep us apart, you will always be embedded deep within my heart. 

Your love,

Raymond ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to criminalkeen for being a wonderful beta and Zamida for the poem!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a dork. I never even noticed that this wasn't completed on here. Special thanks to mahonchik for messaging me!

Red woke a couple of hours later, which was surprising, because he didn't even remember going to sleep. Not that he did that much lately anyway. The past day's events came back to him and he could feel the panic setting in when he noticed the lack of her presence. He got up and hastily made his way through the house, all the while whispering a mantra to himself.

'Not again. Not again. Not again.'

He was ready to scream when he noticed soft light coming from under the door of the office. He slowly pushed it open and sighed in relief when he saw her standing in front of his desk, shoulders slightly hunched. He walked up to her, careful as to not to disturb her and looked over her shoulder to see that it was the letter he had written all those weeks ago.

The piece of paper was crinkled. He had carried it around with him for two months now. The ink was blurry and smudged and he remembered actually crying while writing it. But he could also see new drops of wetness on the paper. Her shoulders were shaking as she tried not to make any noise, while crying softly. Red hesitantly put his hands on her waist and she willingly leaned back against him. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and turned his head to whisper into her ear.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie. I'm so sorry."

She nodded and a small sob escaped her throat, making him tighten his grip on her. "Me too."

Red huffed a humorless laugh. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's all on me. I ruined it. Ruined the best thing that happened to me in over two decades. I'm so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I meant it then, I mean it now, you are my life, my everything and I can't live without you. I don't know how I'll ever be able to make it up to you, but if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying." He felt her body trembling against his, but he wasn't much better off. If she told him 'no' now, he was sure he would die, right on the spot. He felt her move and his heart beat wildly in his chest; he was afraid he might pass out.

Liz turned and put her hands against his chest, feeling the thump of his heart against her palm. "I love you, too," she said simply. He released a long, shuddering breath in relief and shook with tremors as the adrenaline left his body.

Red gently cupped her face in his hands, letting his thumbs caress her cheekbones. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for -"

"Ray?" She interrupted.

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Red chuckled and then complied, slowly lowering his lips onto hers. They moaned in unison at that first touch and then the dam broke. Their hands roamed over each other's body, touching, pulling, tugging, feeling like that wasn't nearly enough. Their lips moved against each other's before one of them finally opened their mouth and their tongues met. It was desperate, but so very beautiful. When they finally parted, they didn't pull away. They leaned their foreheads against each other, their noses touching, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. She was leaning heavily against him and he could see that she was exhausted, emotionally drained. He pursed his lips to place a kiss under her eye.

"Let's get you into bed." She didn't protest and let herself be led towards the bedroom. He sat her on the mattress and pulled some clothes for her to sleep in from the closet, putting them in her lap, then tucking some hair behind her ear. "If you need anything, I'll be in the living room," he said softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Before he could leave, she grabbed his hand, preventing him from going. "Don't be ridiculous, Ray," she said, giving him a smile, as she tugged his dress shirt out of his pants. "I want to sleep in your arms. I want to feel safe again."

Red swallowed hard. He wasn't sure how to respond. How could she feel safe with him after everything that had happened?

"Ray." She tugged on his shirt again.

He smiled, before bending down to kiss her soft lips. "I'd love nothing more than to hold you while you sleep."

Liz gave him a tired, but still just as big grin. "We both know that's not true." She stood and there was barely enough space to put a sheet of paper between them and leaned in to place a kiss to the corner of his lips.

"You're a tease," he murmured.

She patted his chest on her way to the adjoining bathroom. "Lose the shirt, Ray."

He chuckled and did as he was told, also taking off the rest of his clothes, leaving his boxer shorts on. He got into his side of the bed; he hadn't slept on her side for years.

He put his arms under his head and waited for his Lizzie to emerge from the bathroom. His heart was racing again. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. She had every right to hate him, yet she didn't. He smiled at her when she walked around the bed and got under the covers.

"You've always worn them better," Red said, referring to his clothes on her body.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Liz replied with a wink.

He stretched out his left arm, inviting her into his side. "Well, it got you into my bed."

"Cheeky," Liz said, as she moved in and laid her head where it belonged. On his chest. His arms encircled her small frame, pulling her closer and she let her fingers rake through the soft curls on his chest with a content smile. They lay in silence, both lost in their own thoughts, just happy to be back in each other's arms.

"Marry me."

'What?' Liz lifted her head from his chest. "Technically, you're wearing my ring," she said, fingering the piece of jewellery around his neck.

"No. Marry me."

She looked curiously at him then. "I thought we couldn't."

"I don't care. Marry me. Be my wife."

'Elizabeth Reddington does have a nice ring to it.' She thought. He was serious; she could see it in his eyes, could feel it from the way his heart was practically banging against his ribcage. She loved him. So very much and she couldn't imagine spending her life without him again.

"Yes."

~fin~


End file.
